Letter of appreciation, per Rx by Dr. Richard Carlson, author, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Dear EE,

We were rivals in high school. It was unspoken but we were. Whether we admit it or not, we were. Or was I the only one that was competitive? You were so pretty; you had fair skin- the type that would be chosen to be Miss Finland or Miss Holland on United Nations Day. You spoke so softly. You always made sure that you put your name last on any lists, which made you look humble in our teachers’ eyes. Teacher’s pet, that’s what you were! These are teachers whose children are also in the classes they taught and wanted to make an example of your humility despite your physical beauty.


Of course you were trying to earn brownie points with the teachers. They absolutely loved you. Every boy in school had a crush on you. And I just hated you, that’s all. I felt like you were always in my face, in every corner that I turn. I was too special to share the stage with anyone let alone a kid who is as smart and pretty as you were. I was glad that you were in the play “Half an Hour in the Convent” with me and my friends. You were the rebel and I had the opportunity to hurl hurtful words at you, at the behest of the playwright and director. We exchanged dialogues that stung in the name of theater. Boy did I love it! And we all got "Best Drama Performers” for that production.

In 2007, you came to a dinner I was hosting in Manila for our mutual high school friends. This was thirty six years after high school. I was very surprised to find my old nemesis, or what I imagined her to be. Little did I know this reunion was going to be a beginning…

You were speaking softly and you sounded so genuine that I had to tell you, “Oh you really are sweet!”, and meant it. I thought your demeanor in high school was just a put on. How wrong I was. You were smiling and was genuinely pleased to see me and the others. I was floored!

In 2010, my husband and I went to Australia and you made plans to see us and take us around Sydney. You and your husband took us to the wineries and we had a lovely time together. During the trip, you shared so many poignant memories of your youth, your struggles and your triumphs that I knew nothing about. I felt so honored listening to your stories.

I am so proud of you, for becoming the woman you are today, a wife and mom, a professional,- a proud and accomplished Filipina. You are not a woman of many words and the few you have to say are wise and insightful. Thank you for considering me worthy of your friendship, you of the exquisite beauty of face, mind, spirit. Thank you for spending time with us while touring your beautiful part of the world. I am proud of you; you show the Aussies how smart Filipinas are!

I wish you well, I wish you the best and from time to time, when you send an email to our group, with your exquisite Tagalog, I wish we could be teen-agers again, but instead of being rivals, we would be in the same team. We could be part of a clique, the “intellectual snobs” and impenetrable clueless fools, aware of our intelligence and looks and nothing else. In retrospect, had we been friends in high school, Jaime Garces would have probably hesitated to tell me to stop liking him because anyone who is good enough to be a friend of EE must be special. Ahem.