I am an American whether you like me or not. Deal with it.

Letter of Gratitude (or not) –as Rx by Dr. Richard Carlson, author. “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff – and it is all small stuff.”



Dear Cheryl Z,

I do not trust anyone with a last name that rhymes with salami.

You opened my eyes to the fact that ugly, prejudiced Americans are smiling at me while wishing the worst for me.

It all started rather innocently. You asked me what I did for the weekend and I told you I went to Burger King for some fast food craving.

-If you want to be an American, then you should go to McDonald’s.

“Last time I heard, Americans make their own choices. My money, my choice.  ”

-You know, you alwasy act like you're better than me. You foreigners come here to take our jobs. Go back where you come from!

You put your forefingers on each temple to make your eyes slanted.

“I will tell you something, you are ugly as is, and you look uglier when you try to look like an Oriental.”

-And you are using your being a woman to get what you want. Go back where you come from!

“YOU go back to your trailer. I am educated and I did not take your job. You are not qualified to do my job. I can speak two languages, can you? Do you have a college education, because I do. You want to settle this outside?”

I was holding a computer tape as I advanced towards her. I was going to hit her with the tape. The men heard us and one of them took me aside, shielding me from the rest, “She is not worth it. The bitch is not worth it. This is what she wants from you. Don’t let her.”

There is power in being able to say things that your adversary cannot understand.

So as I allowed my manager and my co-workers to calm me down, I looked you in the eye and said calmly, “Kaputa-putang ina ka. Hindi  katulad mo lang na mal-educadang putang-ina mong puti ka ang makakaganyan sa akin. Tandaan mo ‘to, hayup ka.”

Twenty years later, I still guard my dealings with you. You have made bad choices in your life; cheating on your husband is one. Oh, by the way, you also gained at least 50 pounds and you are now on your third husband. You look like a truck driver.

I outranked you, not only in social but professional position. During one occasion when I asked you to do something for me, you could no longer tolerate me.  You had the audacity, without being provoked, to tell me that you would tell my superior that I was too demanding when I asked you to assist me in something.

-I will tell your boss that you are vey arrogant and demanding. You keep on asking me to do things, like I report to you.

“What, that I am asking you to give me a duplicate key or a box of xerox paper? What are you getting out of that?

-You just keep on asking for things. I cannot keep up and you are arrogant when you do not get it right away.

“I have a job to do. Do yours so I can do mine. I have to think to do my job. I need my document for the top guy.  You only need to get some supplies, is that too complicated to do?”

- I will tell Mr...that you are arrogant.

“Okay and I will tell him that you hate my guts. You want him to know what you told me in 1976?”

- You called me a honkee.”

“What the hell is ‘honkee?’ If you have to “quote” me , quote me with an educated sentence.  I married a Yankee so that would not even be credible if you are implying that I use that term pejoratively. I am tired of your pretending to be professional with me. We both know that you are a racist. Let us not pretend to like each other. You go to my boss, and I will have the men who heard what you said to me in 1976 put in writing your racist remarks. Let us see who loses here. “

You emailed me later and said, -Listen can we just erase all of these and start with a clean slate?-

“My slate has always been clean.” That was all you heard from me.

I did not attend your retirement party and I made sure to mention to people why when they asked. We were never friends despite having worked together all the years in the same building. I did not tell them that -te odio, y cualquier tu representes, entiendes?  No te encanta, nunca jamas.

You represent the ugly American sentiment that the USA is only for whites. You forget that your forefathers were once immigrants themselves. The United States is not black or white. It is Asian, Latino, Black, Arabs, Persians, White, Brown, Olive, and Yellow. It is Muslim, Christian, Jewish, Catholic, agnostic, atheist. It is the land of the free – its people are free to exercise their freedoms and they are free not to.

I fear the values that you and the likes of you install in your children but I hope your daughter is more open minded than you are. We reap what we sow. I hope that my son and the children of other non-white Americans negate the hysteria that dominates the "United States of Jesus," which insists that we need to show we are here legally and that we need to go back where we come from at first infraction.

I did not come here to take your job. I came here because I heard about North Americans espousing freedom and justice for all.  I have lived by the rules. I have worked hard to get where I am. I am an American whether you like me or not. Deal with it.

Thanks to you, I endeavored to keep bettering myself. I aspire to show people like you that being brown is not a sign of inferiority. I am living the American dream and people like you are trying to turn it into a nightmare for those of us who had the courage to come to North America to better our lives. We are educated, we are worldly, we are politically relevant, we are informed, we are affluent, and we are here to stay.

So here is to you, Cheryl – fuck you! 


Sincerely,