Audition for the role of "Mrs...." Part 2 of many chapters, Winter 1996

Previously on the Audition for the role of “Mrs….” My reality show part 2, winter 1997:

Recap: WG (white guy) aka BF (boyfriend) met SM (single mom).
Shortly after I met my future husband, he handed me a dozen yellow roses wrapped in old newspaper. He told me that he had to leave to work in Hongkong for six months. He was to leave in January. I asked him if he would marry me. Someday. Not now. He said "yes." Then he left for HK.

He did the calling most of the time because I hated calling him. His secretary was a Hong Konger. Do not laugh; a HK resident is a Hong Konger. Anyway, I imagined his secretary to be around my age, short hair, eyeglasses, pumps, custom-made suit, no make-up, no nail polish, Gucci purse. Her responses seem to be on the curt side. I told him that I did not like calling him. “Your secretary is rude." "He said, “She is efficient. They do not coat their words with unnecessary pleasantries here."
No kidding!

USA: "Hello, hi Jane, this is WG's girlfriend. How are you?
Oh hi my boss' girlfriend. How are ya? (response in allegro)

Great, and how was your weekend?
Oh it was wonderful, I went shopping with my daughter and we had fun!

That’s great, how's work?
Oh my Lord, so much work, it is driving me crazy! (forte)

I am sorry! Well, he is not there huh? Will you please tell him I called?
Will do. No problem. (allegro)
Great. Thanks, I appreciate it!"
You are welcome! Have a great day! (forte)

Hong Kong:
Hello Chen, this is …. "Hi" ( snow falling)
How are you? "Fine" (snow sticking)
Is WG there? “No” (snow piling)
May I leave a message for him then?
"Yes….What?" (freezing rain starting)
Sorry?
“What’s the message?” (someone fell on the ice)

Will you please tell him that I am getting ready to jump off the bridge?
Okay." (Snow turned to solid ice)
Okay, I will jump and I will die. Will you tell him that?
"I will." (keep out. Danger. Icy)
"Ok, thank you very much, Ms. Chen!"
“DIAL tone.” :-0

The Zamboni skidded to a halt.


While WG was in Hongkong, he made a business trip to the Philippines. He had a meeting with Filipino lawyers of the most prestigious firm in Makati, the country’s financial district. As they made small talk, he told them that he was planning on visiting the province where I was born. A Filipina lawyer told him, “Your girlfriend is Filipina? She will clean your house, cook good food, and give you beautiful children.” He said he was taken aback. He said, “Oh, she is not a mail order bride.” “It does not matter, she will be a good wife, and she will clean your house and cook for you.” “She is college educated.” “She will be a good wife. Watch, she will cook good food.” He told me that he was very offended, that they might have thought he wanted a servant. He emphatically proclaimed, “She lives in the United States. She went to the University of the Philippines. She works at the US Congress.” End of discussion. No more cooking, no more cleaning, to hell with the beautiful children.


I warned him about his trip to Nueva Ecija. There might not be running water, there might not be electricity, and that the mosquitoes will eat him alive. Nueva Ecija is located in the central plains of Luzon. I also told him that they might call him “Joe”(for GI Joe). I was wrong on three things and right on one thing. He said my family had running water and electricity, and the mosquitoes were smaller than what he remembered of mosquitoes in Maine when he was a child. He did say however that when he shaved in the morning, chickens roamed around him and pecked his feet. And he said the children looked at him, did not say anything but a few minutes later, they called out to him, “Hi Joe!” He told me that a huge painting of myself hung on the wall of my Mom’s house. They told him I was a beauty queen. They told him that painting used to hang in the City Hall. He was pleased, he landed a beauty queen! Yey, me!!

Then it was my turn to go to HK. We were going to Bangkok and Bali afterwards and together, we would go back to the USA.

I landed in HK late in the afternoon. It was hot and humid and Kai Tak airport was crowded. I saw a lot of Filipino women queued up to enter HK. They work as contract workers, as nannies and housekeepers (referred to as amah). He asked how I got through customs fast, there were too many amahs coming in that day. I told him that I am a US Passport holder. He smiled, embarrassed by his blunder. He should be.


The BF lived in Parkview, a very upscale and exclusive apartment complex that looked like a resort. Lawyer types and investment banker types live there. It seemed like there was one amah for every child in that complex. It has swimming pools and waterfalls, beautifully kept gardens all over. Amahs wait for their charges at the lobby. His flat cost $10,000 USD a month. That was my rent for a year back in the States. He has an amah coming in to clean the place. It had a beautiful view of the hills by the reservoir. I can get used to this! The view, not the flat.
I got lost the next day. I was supposed to take a cab and meet BF for lunch at 2 Pacific Place. He told me that every cab driver in HK knew about #2 Pacific Place. Let me tell you, I found that one driver who did not know where. The cabbie did not speak English. He kept saying “I dono. I dono. Mebee, I dono, I dono.” By some divine intervention, despite my terror from the driving on the left side of the road, I recognized the building and asked the cabbie to STOP when I saw it.


BF was relieved to see me but said he got worried. He could not believe the cabbie did not know 2 Pacific Place. I was traumatized by the whole fiasco. Later, I asked if I could use his PC to email my friend in the States. He saw what I was typing, "You will not believe this but I got lost on my first day here in Hong Kong. I asked the cab driver, 'please take me to 2 Pacific..." WG exclaimed, "Oh my goodness, no wonder you got lost. The poor cab driver could not figure out "please take me..." I told you to just say “2 Pacific Place!"

I tried, however, the cabbie only spoke Cantonese. I kept pointing to buildings and talking, “I don’t know…I don’t know. Maybe that one… I don’t know. The poor guy, O-M-G, I just realized was repeating after me, helping me find “I dono I dono. May Be. I dono.” I started to bleat, totally, like a freaked out zebra. Have you heard a zebra bleat? Youtube it, reader! Then BF laughed and then said, “Next time just say ‘2 Pacific Place!’” "No take me, no please."

I told him saying “2 Pacific Place!” is just rude. He said,"But it gets you where you want to go. Trust me." That night, when we got into a cab, and he showed me. He barked, "Pakview!" in a deliberate Boston accent. It sounded "Puck view!" So rude! I will probably end up saying, “Puck you! “ Rude! The cabbie dropped us off at the front door without a problem.

The next day, he took me to his tailor. I brought with me an almost 15-year old coat that I thought could be fixed. The tailor looked at the coat, the faded lining, the missing buttons, the pocket with holes, looked at me, and pronounced, "Sorry madam, there is nothing we can do to repair your coat." That was my best coat! I puckered my lips, you know the “poor baby” expression of hopelessness. BF looked at me and then the coat. I cradled it in my arms like a baby. He said, “I guess that’s it. We have to dispose of it.” He was in complicity with the tailor in euthanizing my coat. I Kevorkianed my best coat in HK. We buried it unceremoniously in a street trashcan in Kowloon. Then he led me back into the shop and asked the tailor to make some clothes for me.

A day or so later, BF came home to find me in tears. I was inconsolable. BF warned me against doing it but I did not listen. I called home to speak to my little boy. I asked how he was doing and he started crying. He said, “I’m fine mommy, but I miss you.” That's all I needed to hear. I cried with him and I told him, “I miss you too and I love you and of all the little boys in the whole wide world I love you the most." The mostest. The bestest. "Listen, I will go first to Thailand and then to Indonesia and mommy needs a few days to do that then I will be back with you.” “But why do you have to go to Timeland and Indo-asia?” “Because that’s the only way for the airplane to go back to America. Just be good to Ate Connie and then I will be back. Can you promise to wait for me?” “Okay, it will take like seven more ‘sleeps’ then I will be back.” “Okay, I love you, Mommy.” After I hung up the phone, I cried and cried and cried. It was the first time I had to leave my son for a number of days. My sleepover was too long for him. This was the first time I had to leave Kris this long and I missed him oh so terribly. My live-in babysitter, a wonderful and caring young woman who I trusted his life with told me not to worry. She said, “My job is to take care of him. Yours is to go find him a Dad!”

The next few days in HK was spent having dinners with friends, going for a double-decker bus trip to Stanley Market, checking out the Filipino crowd at Chater Park. Seeing my paisanos using every inch of space in that park to socialize on their day off reduced me to tears. I felt bad for them. I hated the Marcoses all over again. My future husband told me, “They are not enslaved. They are getting paid. They chose to come here.” ” They gave me a look that seemed congratulatory- I was walking with GI Joe. When I start to talk to them, they tell me, “You are so nice to talk to us.” I respond with, “Why should I not be talking to you Manang, I am Filipino.” “You are so lucky,your husband is American.” I did not object to the “husband” to save face, but I objected to the “lucky because he is American.” I said, “You know, he is lucky too, and he just happens to be American. Marrying an American should not be the dream. It just happened that way. “ And I said this in Tagalog, so as not to alarm my American.

In the meantime, I became fluent. I learned to take a taxi to go into the city. I yell “Two Pacific Place! To go home, I yell “Puck you!” Cabbie drops me at the gate. I smile, pay him, and then yell even louder, “Take you!” It worked like a fortune cookie charm:-).

The next serious thing we did as a couple was to buy china. We bought at least three dozens of rice-pattern blue and white china. He haggled, I nervously paced back and forth outside the stores. I hated haggling. He treated it as a game. We worked a signal, if I see something I like, I would hold his arm and press it hard. This meant I will not leave Hong Kong without it. BF was a natural. He made haggling an art form.

Ms. Chen, the ice Empress shipped three big boxes of china to BF's address in the US. By the way, she more or less looked like I imagined her. And she was a tad warmer in person. No,microwave "30seconds" warm. She was borderline room temperature. I returned the favor; I avoided having to speak to her and whenever I did, I took her lead. Hi. Hi. How you? How you? Bi. Bi.

We started to pack for our trip to Timeland and Indo-Asia!