There were fifteen of us in the class. We were called “intellectual snobs” when we were young. The title was an overstatement. Trust me on that one. More truthfully, we were just cocky adolescents who were aware of how smart we were because we thought we were. Let us face it, we ‘knew it all’ at that time. We were cute, we were fluent in English, we knew our Math, and we were the chosen ones. Yeah, right.
In our group, there are mechanical engineers, registered nurses, physicist, business administrators. We also have a lawyer, PhD, paralegal, massage therapist, horticulturist, medical transcription business owner, entrepreneur, college professor, law enforcement professional, and government executives.
We went outside Manila, to Subic Bay to be precise. We rented two villas and reminisced about our high school days. We laughed at our antics, continued to make fun of our former teachers but were unified in acknowledging the positive influences they had on us. We learned to speak English and Tagalog impeccably during high school; we learned that speed multiplied by distance is velocity (is that right?) We learned that there is such a thing called isocelles triangle (correct?) and that subject and verb must always agree. One cannot say I came from the Philippines. One must say, “I come from the Philippines.” If I am stating where I was from originally, then the present form of the verb ‘to come’ is correct; however, if I just arrived from a trip to Manila then I can say I came from the Philippines. You get the drift.
Anyway, on the night that we all gathered for a big supper that my friends cooked, we decided to reminisce more about our youth. We found out who was dating whom after high-school. One of my classmates, my high school best friend in fact, ended up confronting another about breaking up with her. I was surprised. I did not expect they were a couple after high school. He was baring his heart to her in our presence. “I loved you, truly. In retrospect, I should have married you…” Like a real TV Jerry Springer audience we all said “Oooooooh!” in unison.
But wait! He continued, “But for the fact that you were so obviously trying to tell me that you moved on with your life, we would have been together. We walked past each other by the Manila Cathedral and what did you do? You had to make sure that I saw that you were with Ben! How low was that?” She defended herself, “I wanted you to know that I moved on. How did you think I felt when you said you wanted to find yourself so you dumped me? Right, you found yourself a wife and it was not I you chose!’ We were in the middle of this exciting exchange. No one knew the extent of their love affair. We were transfixed. Imagine two 50-year olds settling a score of thirty years ago?
He stood up from the head of the table, and said, “Listen, what happened after the prom…” I stood up so fast I thought the chair was attached to me as I did. In a loud but firm voice, I said, almost like the high-school days when I wowed judges with my oratorical summation, “You son of a bitch, do not say one more bleeping word.” Whoa, I just said it did I not?
Then Maggie, the 'senior citizen' girlfriend and my high-school best friend stood up next to me, pressing my hand, saying to him, "Shut up! That is a SECRET!” Another elongated ‘Huh?” from the audience. Then, “What secret?”
We three said in unison, “Our secret!” I said, “We are supposed to take it to our graves!” Silence. Then, I started laughing and I looked at Maggie. “Can we tell these idiots?” Laughter. We looked at him and asked, “Can we tell them?” He looked at me and then at Maggie. Then he said, “Tell these idiots then!” Laughter. Then I said, “Okay guys, we kept this secret for too long that I had to live with this shame until I became an adult.
SECRET-
Right after the prom, Meg and I, and Bob and Ed drove to the University of the Philippines and we went to the lover’s lane at the back of the Administration building. We let the boys kiss us on the mouth! The security guard shone a flashlight on us and told us we would have to get married. Get married, for crying out loud! I could not let that happen! We could not let that happen. We were going to be in college in two months; I was going to attend the very same university. I would be leaving for the USA after college, Bob wanted to become an engineer or an accountant, Meg wanted to be a chemist or a manager or an accountant and a professor; and I wanted to be a doctor, a lawyer, a foreign service officer, a journalist, a teacher, an actress, the list goes on and I did not care what the heck Ed wanted to be. He was a jock and he was not smart. He kissed well in my young summation.
We were crying; we were so completely busted. We were caught in the act. In the Philippines, it was a shameful thing to be kissing your boyfriend in 1971. We were beside ourselves. This could not happen. We just graduated, we were on our way to our future. The boys put their money together and bribed the guard. I hope that guard suffered from gastro intestinal blowout that night! We were all shamed and quiet on our way home and I lived with the awful shame of French kissing that boy. God bless him; wherever he is.
Right after the prom, Meg and I, and Bob and Ed drove to the University of the Philippines and we went to the lover’s lane at the back of the Administration building. We let the boys kiss us on the mouth! The security guard shone a flashlight on us and told us we would have to get married. Get married, for crying out loud! I could not let that happen! We could not let that happen. We were going to be in college in two months; I was going to attend the very same university. I would be leaving for the USA after college, Bob wanted to become an engineer or an accountant, Meg wanted to be a chemist or a manager or an accountant and a professor; and I wanted to be a doctor, a lawyer, a foreign service officer, a journalist, a teacher, an actress, the list goes on and I did not care what the heck Ed wanted to be. He was a jock and he was not smart. He kissed well in my young summation.
We were crying; we were so completely busted. We were caught in the act. In the Philippines, it was a shameful thing to be kissing your boyfriend in 1971. We were beside ourselves. This could not happen. We just graduated, we were on our way to our future. The boys put their money together and bribed the guard. I hope that guard suffered from gastro intestinal blowout that night! We were all shamed and quiet on our way home and I lived with the awful shame of French kissing that boy. God bless him; wherever he is.
END OF SECRET-
When my son was little he told me, ‘Mommy I know what a French kiss is. It is when your dog licks your face all over!” By this definition, I was not French- kissing anyone that evening!
Among the four of us that evening, we promised each other that it would be our secret until the day we die. Our classmates were looking at us like we still owed them some juicy “enquiry minds” tidbits.
The idiots were first quiet, then:
“That’s it?” They wer now laughing uncontrollably. “That is your dark secret? “ “Well, it happened in the dark, did it not?”, I quipped. Then they said, “What were you doing with that boy anyway?” “HAHAHAHA, you downgraded big time!” It was my turn to laugh. Yes, I said, that was what was worse! That I got kissed by him. I said, “Okay guys, now it is out of our chests, okay, you cannot blackmail us anymore!” Then Maggie cut it short “Now that you know the secret, now you know why I am so hurt by him dumping me!” So we tried to tell her, “You were sixteen at that time. You moved on, you now have your kids, a good life.” And he was distraught by her “pain” that he continued to defend himself, “I am so sorry. I regret it. We were so young. I wanted to see what else was out there…” “What was out there was my broken heart and you never tried to get back together with me!” We did not know what to say. Some of the “girls” said, “Hey, come on that was like during the Spanish inquisition!” We laughed but Maggie and Bob did not.
We decided to get out of the villa and we all sat under the stars. Someone started to sing and we all joined in, singing the songs of our youth, we were teary eyed. In between songs, we reiterated how blessed we have become from our youth to the present. We became the people we wanted to be- proud, self-sufficient, educated, successful parents, and professionals. We stated how much we cared for one another; that we would come through for each other. Through it all, Maggie was pensive. Bob was quiet for a long time. We continued to sing. The next day, we continued our exploration of the Subic area. Everything seemed back to normal.
That was five years ago. Maggie subsequently told me that it was very difficult for her to deal with he break-up. He was her first love. She got married to escape physical abuse at home. She loved Bob sincerely and never could get over the speculation of how it could have been if they did not break up. I told her that she needed to have closure. She said she did. They met after the reunion and tried to rekindle whatever was there but it fizzled. As it should. They were both married to other people.
We still keep in contact with one another. I was on vacation with Maggie on a beach resort in the Visayas two summers ago. I kept reminding her that our “dark” secret is out – it should not be a chain to keep her captive to a memory of so long ago. And that kiss, Filipinos have a saying, “Makukuha yan sa paligo.” (A hot shower will take care of that.) In fact, it has always been a point of reference in my life. When things are not going so well, I think of how I escaped the consequence of that long ago lip-locking episode of my youth. That I can keep a secret for those many years speak to how I value a pledge I have made and to find out that the others did the same. That was reassuring. Until our big mouths could not hold it in anymore!
“That’s it?” They wer now laughing uncontrollably. “That is your dark secret? “ “Well, it happened in the dark, did it not?”, I quipped. Then they said, “What were you doing with that boy anyway?” “HAHAHAHA, you downgraded big time!” It was my turn to laugh. Yes, I said, that was what was worse! That I got kissed by him. I said, “Okay guys, now it is out of our chests, okay, you cannot blackmail us anymore!” Then Maggie cut it short “Now that you know the secret, now you know why I am so hurt by him dumping me!” So we tried to tell her, “You were sixteen at that time. You moved on, you now have your kids, a good life.” And he was distraught by her “pain” that he continued to defend himself, “I am so sorry. I regret it. We were so young. I wanted to see what else was out there…” “What was out there was my broken heart and you never tried to get back together with me!” We did not know what to say. Some of the “girls” said, “Hey, come on that was like during the Spanish inquisition!” We laughed but Maggie and Bob did not.
We decided to get out of the villa and we all sat under the stars. Someone started to sing and we all joined in, singing the songs of our youth, we were teary eyed. In between songs, we reiterated how blessed we have become from our youth to the present. We became the people we wanted to be- proud, self-sufficient, educated, successful parents, and professionals. We stated how much we cared for one another; that we would come through for each other. Through it all, Maggie was pensive. Bob was quiet for a long time. We continued to sing. The next day, we continued our exploration of the Subic area. Everything seemed back to normal.
That was five years ago. Maggie subsequently told me that it was very difficult for her to deal with he break-up. He was her first love. She got married to escape physical abuse at home. She loved Bob sincerely and never could get over the speculation of how it could have been if they did not break up. I told her that she needed to have closure. She said she did. They met after the reunion and tried to rekindle whatever was there but it fizzled. As it should. They were both married to other people.
We still keep in contact with one another. I was on vacation with Maggie on a beach resort in the Visayas two summers ago. I kept reminding her that our “dark” secret is out – it should not be a chain to keep her captive to a memory of so long ago. And that kiss, Filipinos have a saying, “Makukuha yan sa paligo.” (A hot shower will take care of that.) In fact, it has always been a point of reference in my life. When things are not going so well, I think of how I escaped the consequence of that long ago lip-locking episode of my youth. That I can keep a secret for those many years speak to how I value a pledge I have made and to find out that the others did the same. That was reassuring. Until our big mouths could not hold it in anymore!
Post script to the secret-
When we all started to take a walk around the community, Bob spoke. "What was with you two? I was not going to tell the secret." "Well what were you going to say, you started talking about what happened after the prom?" "That I intended to go to the same college Maggie was going to so that we could be together but my Father wanted me in another university. I thought you two crazies were ready to kill me." Oooops.
I still have other “secrets” but they are not as idiotically verboten as that secret during that sultry evening, when the cicadas were abuzz and the sampaguitas in full bloom were heady with youthful inquisitiveness and rebellion. My other secrets are as colorful as high definition TV. They are as vibrant and lively as TrueTV. I will let you in on some of them if you stay tuned once in a while, but others are so special, I will not reveal them in this lifetime;-).
As my friend Chutney would tell me, "Mooney, you and I, we will go to hell together. The coolest of our friends will all be there." I say, "AMEN!"
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