No Running in the Hallway!

A Letter of Appreciation, per Rx by author Richard Carlson, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it is all small stuff.”

 

 

Dear Mr. Bob Farrar,

I thank you not only for sitting with me daily to teach me the inner workings of an IBM Mainframe three and a half decades ago but for encouraging my never-ending pursuit of education to make me a better employee. You said, "You can call me Bob." I said, "No, I can't.  I was raised to respect my superiors if not my elders." I have you to thank for some very important lessons I carried with me through life:

      When I was all of twenty (and has since discovered BOXED wine),  you gave me an advice as we approached the holiday season:  

1)      Stop drinking once you get the buzz. The fun starts at the precise moment you get a buzz. If you drink more after that moment, you will not remember the fun you are supposed to be having.  I passed out when I “tried to prove you wrong.” I could not even remember what I was doing on the floor of my friend’s bathroom. I missed the whole party and when I came to, the party was over.  Never again.

 In my thirties and about to become a mom to a boy I already named, you sat down with me  and gave the following advice:

   1)  Do not get too worked up if your son comes home with a problem.  Listen, think  through, and give  appropriate consequences.  If you overreact at a little problem, how will you react when he gives you bigger problems like drugs or teen-age paternity?  My advice is for you to sit down with your son and listen without being judgmental.  Love him unconditionally. You do not have to love what he has done and it is okay to tell him so.  Be ready to set boundaries and make him respect them.  If you cannot afford to send him to a private school, move somewhere where public schools are excellent.  You will appreciate this later.

      In my early forties and about to get married, you commented:

    1)   You have done very well and I am happy to see what you have become from the young       woman  I have interviewed many years ago.  You and Kris are going to be part of your husband's family soon. This will be a much different life with a husband to help you raise your son.  I wish you the very best. I congratulate you - live well, travel far, and enjoy the buzz.

   I still hear your voice as you stood by the door of your office while I approach:

1)       “Miss Vil-lorente, NO RUNNING IN THE HALLWAY! You are so full of energy but I don’t need that report this soon.”

2)      “You are the happiest person I know.  Don’t ever stop laughing.”

3)      “You took a class to get rid of your accent?  You do not have an accent, what you have is a melody.'”

  I have tried to live up to your words of wisdom. I appreciate your glowing reviews of my work and my promotions you gave me!  Alas,  that was not the only the point.   I appreciate your support when I “fell out by the roadside” and like a surrogate father, you sat down with me and told me that I was not expected to be perfect.  I was invited at your retirement party, after your distinguished career first with the US Senate Sergeant at Arms Office and then from the Secretary of the Senate's Office. 

I hope your retirement is as happy as you planned. I hope you are sunning in Bora-Bora, having dim sums in Hong Kong, eating paella in Salamanca, and sipping a robust Soave in Florence with your wife.  My son is now two years older than I was when I worked with you.  I have given him Lesson 1, "The Buzz" already.  Thank you ever so much, "Mr. Farrar."

 

Photo credit: Mr. Robert C. Farrar, Jr. - 2nd fr right was my Manager both at the Senate Computer Center  (Operations); much later as my Manager in the Budget and Procurement Dept where I worked as his Senior Financial Specialist. Photo taken when I received my 13 years of service appreciation plaque at the US Senate.  My son would be born four months after this photo was taken.