Dear Bob Abada, Jr.
I have been looking for you. I hope you are still alive. Are you still as groovy as I remember you to be? I was a contestant for the CMLI Teen Princess title when I sensed that a camera lens was aimed at me. Number 24, all cute and confident! To be sure, I kept shifting in my seat, waiting for the dreaded “question and answer” portion. The lenses were definitely aimed at me. I must have looked pretty, but not in pink. It was Baguio City, 1969 – I was wearing a pair of light blue lacy tights (yes, 1969!) under a cornflower blue dress with a white lace peter pan collar. Everywhere I go, those lenses were stalking me. I was number 24! Then you danced with me, the very first time a boy actually paid attention to me and asked me to dance. Haysoos, you were holding me so tight I thought you were going to kill me! You told me your name: Bob. Abada. Jr. University of the Philippines Prep School. Officer of the Children’s Museum and Library, Inc. From Makati. Only son. Dugong-bughaw (royal blood) – Ilonggo, 5’11, as white as steamed rice, sideburns like Tom Jones, top of the class, smoked like a chimney. Back to me- I made it to the finals. I wore a heavily padded adult’s brassiere size 34, which felt and looked like some deadly weapon, a pink evening gown, wearing high-heeled Mary Janes and bobby socks underneath. We danced and chatted but I felt stupid and inarticulate next to you. The other girls from some Saint Floozy schools looked at me with jealousy. You were handsome, in a colonial way, hee-hee. I might have snagged the coolest guy of all the over 500 teen-agers in this place. Tom Jones!!
Back to school, you sent me letters, some of which I brought to the USA with me (don’t worry I am not a hoarder). You, UP Prep valedictorian, wanted me to be your prom date and you came to my school to my embarrassment and asked the principal to see me. You asked me then and there to be your prom date. I took my friend Biyeng and my cousin Onang with me to your prom. In essence, you had three dates. I apologize, that was so not cool. I did not know any better but my mom would not allow me to go without them. But you seemed to be delighted if not amused.
After your graduation, you went to pursue an Engineering degree at the De La Salle. You had the most beautiful penmanship. You sent me birthday cards. You used pink envelopes and always used “Special Delivery.” Then one day, I got a letter from you. Excited! Then, “Blah blah blah…I met this girl Evelyn and I am going steady with her. She is a college student at the College of the Holy Spirit. Right now she left for the United States for summer vacation. I hope you are doing well in school. I am glad that you took an exam to attend UP. Good luck.”
P.S: When we break up, I will let you know.
Oh, holy shit. I was just dumped. Actually, it was more like “Holy Mary Mother of God, he broke up with me.” Why, because I was just fifteen and I did not curse then. That’s why.
I had a circle of friends, Arlene, Cynthia, Mags – they went over my ‘rebuttal,’ helping me articulate my hurt feelings. I hope you did not keep that letter. It must be so corny, dripping with a teen-ager’s angst “How can I mend my heart? You just ripped it into pieces… I am sorry I was not good enough…”
I cut your letter and saved the “P.S.” part so that I can torture myself over and over. You left me for an older woman, a wiser more mature woman of 18. I guess you and Evelyn never broke up. I took “P.S.” to the USA with me, just in case. Still, you never wrote again. I still have it, over four decades after you betrayed my 16 year old heart. I have been “googling” your name ever since I learned to learn how to use the Internet, even before Google became a verb, even using some legal software to see if you might have immigrated to the US. So where the heck are you these days?
Bob, I understand. As Gen-X would say, “I completely, seriously, totally understand.” Here is the revised copy of my rebuttal letter, just so you know:
Title: Revised letter to replace that one I sent you in 1970.
Hi Bob, What, you are seeing another girl? Did you just dump me? Crap, you totally did, didn’t ya?! That is so lame. Seriously?! Ok, I guess that’s it. Wow, you made me believe you liked me, that you really, really liked me! You must have thought my world will end just because you are seeing someone else. No way it has ended! Well, it did for a while but it about to go through the big BANG and you are not going to be part of it. Your loss, not mine. Truly yours…
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